my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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