if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
