you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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