I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
