youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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