Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
