he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Come share oat with me in your robe
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
