he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
