they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
