why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
