You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
