I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
