I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I will pee on everything he values.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
