Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
