Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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