I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
