How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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