I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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