your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
