Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
