There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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