I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
