this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
