"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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