Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
