Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Houston, we have a blender
I'm at about main and main street
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
