Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
