When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
