It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I understand Curling. That high.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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