apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
