I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
