Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
