pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
