OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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