I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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