I forgot how hot balto sounded
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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