I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
