I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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