Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
