I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
