I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
