this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
