what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
