Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
