he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
