i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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