Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
