what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
