Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just high enough for therapy.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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