How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
